This here's a buckaroo's guide or manual
To save a sense of panic and nicely fill the need
When navigating the greatest outdoor show on earth
The good old Calgary Stampede
-Always look yer best fer church
Even better for the rodeo or bar
-Leave them dagum laptops and cellphones
Hidden in the backseat of yer car
-Dress for dust, mud and plenty of blood
Fer yer time spent on the midway
-Don't hit every free pancake breakfast
Least not all on the very first day
-A healthy stampede diet does consist of
Shrunken donuts, corn dogs and beer
-Top up yer bathing schedule to include
Stampede week this year
-Cowboy boots with black socks and shorts
Girls rate tops on a scale of ten
-They also love guys with red cowboy hats
Especially the ones with lil' whistles on them
-Rodeo cowpokes are trained professionals
Including that clown in the can
Meaning don't simulate the Chucks you've seen
In the families dern car or mini van
-You'll see champion cowboys have a wreck
Listen when Bob Tallman says to wish them luck
-And when you arrive at home don't nod yer head and ask
Yer patient wife to buck
*No animals were harmed in the testing of these guides
And we hope we've planted a cowboy seed
Fer we recken yer now ready to join us and the CBC
At the good old Calgary Stampede
For booking information you can e-mail
Diamond Doug or call:
1-204-736-3412
or mail :
Diamond Doug Keith
Rhymin' Diamond Ranch
Domain, Manitoba, R0G 0M0
